Who are You?!

While reading Kila Ma6goog’s blog the other day, I was thinking how wonderful it is to see young Kuwaiti men and women engage in civilized and sophisticated discussions. I hate going to the malls and the beaches because of the types of young Kuwaitis I see there; superficial, shallow and aimless. It also seems that the only time a girl and a boy get together is in a cheesy date or an undercover flirting.

I am sure the blogger society is not a representative sample of the Kuwaiti youth. But I think that even some bloggers may not be as open or as deep in other settings (e.g. Diwaniay or dates) --- Please note I’m not generalizing ;)

I think one of the reasons of better communication and mutual respect within bloggers is that participants have enough anonymity that they can put down their masks and show their real selves. When we genuinely present ourselves, is when we're most effective in our communication.

A mask or “persona” is the front we present to others. It’s what we want people to see. Our choice of masks is a product of our personality, self-esteem and self-confidence but mostly of external factors like culture, norms and sometimes regulations.

We all wear masks. They are important to protect out egos and might help us survive in some settings or environments. A typical example is the difference between our personalities in the workplace and in our homes; with our parents and with our best friends, in familiar settings and in new or strange settings. For example, I tend to wear the mask of the Super Mom who can handle anything and never afraid of anything even when I'm terrified deep inside. I wear a happy and cheerful mask when I’m in social settings even though I prefer being at home with me kids, pets and books .. etc.

The problem is when we wear a mask for so long that we forget who we are. Or when our masks backfire and distort our images and our relationships. Sometimes people wear so many masks that they lose identity and credibility.

We are at peace when we can be ourselves and do not need to use masks to be accepted or loved. That is why we take off our masks in “safe” settings; such as in the company of our friends, spouses ..etc or in a setting that guarantees our anonymity or privacy.

The worst are the masks that are forced on us! When we pretend to be something we are not because this is what others demand. When guys gather in a Diwaniya and the general mood is to be silly and shallow, then even intelligent guys will go along to fit in. When being a “woman” means being flirty, sexy and stupid then this is what any girl needs to do to get attention and “catch” a man.

To be healthy (mentally, psychologically and physically) one needs to find peace with who he/she are. Unfortunately only few of us get to find this safe spot where we can take of our masks and still be loved and cherished.


My Question: What is the most frequent mask you use? When does it help and when does it trouble you?